In This Issue

The Players
The Scandal
Controversy
The Results
The Pictures
The Movies


TerryTronic Job Losses

The golfing industry was in shock today after the announcement from TerryTronic of poor sales in the second quarter to July this year. In a statement to CIOMI Mr Terry Large, 55, CEO, announced, "Sales have been poor. I'm putting this down to cheap foreign imports. We've been supplying a top quality product supplied with ANDREXtm but the influx of cheaper toilet tissues from China and inferior quality steel from Nigeria has left us little leeway in pricing. We just couldn't compete." Redundancies were expected although Mr Large explained the sales line was still open and they have a large quantity of TerryTronics available at big discounts.
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Jacobs Creek are sponsors of the Canasta Isle of Man Invitational 2005

EDDIE BRINGS THE
CANASTA CUP HOME !!
Canasta Isle of Man Invitational 2005
A late burst score of 34 saw the Canasta Cup returning to Blackpool in the hands of Eddie Daniels.
writes CIOMI reporter Angus McCoatup
Scoring 30, 30 and 34 for a total of 94 points, Eddie "Bully" Daniels, 41, ensured the Canasta Cup returned to Blackpool. In a surprising result the tournament was won by just one point and snatched from arch-rival Terry Large. This years tournament, as ever, courted controversy when Eddie, in a bewildering tantrum (presumably suspecting he had lost by one point) accused Mr Large of being a "Cheating Bastard", words that had echoed throughout the whole tournament.
It seems this year the handicaps were, after all, about right and accusations of impropriety were clearly unjustified. Even when it was pointed out to him by fellow golfers that he had a good chance of winning when the points were added up he threatened to throw the CIOMI trophy in the sea. Calm was restored shortly after and fellow players were relieved when the results were announced. "I'm REALLY pleased you won" quipped Terry Large, 55.

"You're a Cheating Bastard"

Organisers of the PIG trophy were considering adopting the same rule changes as the CIOMI. The PIG will next be contested in Vilamoura in January 2006

[The Players] [The Scandal] [Controversy] [The Results] [ The Movies ] [ The Pictures ]